Kelley (kellga) wrote,

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Hello old friend....

Well it has been like 8 years since I lasted posted in this thing. So much of my life has changed it is insane. Last time I wrote in this I lived with my Aunt and Uncle and was still stupidly dating Mike. My life for the most part is so much better. I have been dating Justin for over 7 years and he is honestly the best person I have ever met. I feel so lucky to have him in my life. He is the main reason well really one of the only reasons I feel happy. Its funny becuz the reason I even decided to write in this thing after so much time is becuz I havent felt as depressed as I do right now for quite some time. Honestly if it wasnt for Justin I dont even know what I would is scary to even think about. We live in this condo and although its not the best looking place we have made it look so cute! I cant believe that we have to move. It seriously sucks so bad. I feel like a little kid like I just wanna stomp my feet and scream and cry. I have been crying so much lately I dont know how Justin handles me. I just cant even help it.I have always been a worrier and I am so worried about finding a good place to live in such a short amount of time. Especially since it cost like 80 million dollars just to move into a place. On top of all of that I just cant help but feel like I am young again and my Mom is telling me we have to move. The worst thing is being told that you no longer can stay in your have to find a new one. Find a new home? I know for some people it is not a big deal to move. I hate it.....I need security and stability. I dont wanna make a new home....I already have one....I hate when things happen that make me feel the same emotions I felt when I was younger. Shit was so fucked up back in the day. Going back and reading these old journal entries is depressing in itself. It does feel kinda good to vent out my feeling again in a journal. Now a days with facebook you cant type one single thought without the whole world seeing it. I miss the good old days of live journal when it was just your friends that could see it. How funny that as Im typing this my Mom texts me.....thats a whole other story though. I think I want to keep updating this thing. I need outlet. I wonder if anyone else will even see this...its kinda nice to think that maybe they wont?
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